Awareness of Microagressions

I chatted with my sister of the Holiday this week and told her how my class was going and what our current discussion was.  I explained to her what microagressions were and we soon were having a serious conversation about a very sensitive situation that my sister experienced in which she, essentially, experienced able-ism.

As many of you will recall, my beautiful younger sister has a prosthetic leg.  She was born with a birth defect and my parents choose to amputate part of her leg at a very young age which would afford her greater mobility and less medical problems in life.  As a result, of a prosthetic leg my sister's leg is inside of the prosthetic and does not receive much air or ventilation, if you will.  Therefore, she often receives (and must be careful of) rashes.  As a result of this, she recently went to a dermatologist for one of the rashes.

My sister said that the doctor looked her leg over and the rash as my sister explained to him why she had the prosthetic and why she felt this persistent rash was occurring and that she needed something to help get rid of this one.  In addition, she needed advice on this rash as well to keep it from reoccurring.  She said the doctor looked at her with very little concern for the actual reason my sister was there - the rash - and said to her "Are your parents sure they had no other option than to amputate?"

Now, my sister and I are some strong girls!  You can  insult us all day long, you can attack us as much as you like and we can handle ourselves and can brush things off.  In fact, I am not even really upset at this comment for my sister as I know she can handle herself.  But, you hurt our parents, you talk bad about our parents....that is another story!

My sister was so shocked and hurt she explained that it was all she could do not to just walk out and tell this doctor exactly what she thought of him.  The expression on her face and the tone in her voice (while he was holding her amputated leg) when she responded by redirecting him back to the rash let the doctor know he had been inappropriate.  She responded to him by saying "No, they didn't!  What about the rash!?"

I was furious when my sister told me this story!  It upset me deeply that this person had verbally harmed my sister and my family!  This doctor made an assumption about the situation my parents were faced with twenty eight years ago and quickly decided they were wrong.

This situation made me reflect that it is ESSENTIAL to never assume you know what it is like in someone else's shoes.  It is okay to ask questions to receive a greater understanding of other cultures, religions, ideas, beliefs, etc. but you must be sensitive, polite and un-assuming in doing so.