Awareness of Microagressions

I chatted with my sister of the Holiday this week and told her how my class was going and what our current discussion was.  I explained to her what microagressions were and we soon were having a serious conversation about a very sensitive situation that my sister experienced in which she, essentially, experienced able-ism.

As many of you will recall, my beautiful younger sister has a prosthetic leg.  She was born with a birth defect and my parents choose to amputate part of her leg at a very young age which would afford her greater mobility and less medical problems in life.  As a result, of a prosthetic leg my sister's leg is inside of the prosthetic and does not receive much air or ventilation, if you will.  Therefore, she often receives (and must be careful of) rashes.  As a result of this, she recently went to a dermatologist for one of the rashes.

My sister said that the doctor looked her leg over and the rash as my sister explained to him why she had the prosthetic and why she felt this persistent rash was occurring and that she needed something to help get rid of this one.  In addition, she needed advice on this rash as well to keep it from reoccurring.  She said the doctor looked at her with very little concern for the actual reason my sister was there - the rash - and said to her "Are your parents sure they had no other option than to amputate?"

Now, my sister and I are some strong girls!  You can  insult us all day long, you can attack us as much as you like and we can handle ourselves and can brush things off.  In fact, I am not even really upset at this comment for my sister as I know she can handle herself.  But, you hurt our parents, you talk bad about our parents....that is another story!

My sister was so shocked and hurt she explained that it was all she could do not to just walk out and tell this doctor exactly what she thought of him.  The expression on her face and the tone in her voice (while he was holding her amputated leg) when she responded by redirecting him back to the rash let the doctor know he had been inappropriate.  She responded to him by saying "No, they didn't!  What about the rash!?"

I was furious when my sister told me this story!  It upset me deeply that this person had verbally harmed my sister and my family!  This doctor made an assumption about the situation my parents were faced with twenty eight years ago and quickly decided they were wrong.

This situation made me reflect that it is ESSENTIAL to never assume you know what it is like in someone else's shoes.  It is okay to ask questions to receive a greater understanding of other cultures, religions, ideas, beliefs, etc. but you must be sensitive, polite and un-assuming in doing so.

Prospectives on Diversity and Culture.

I chose to interview my immediate family for this posting; my mother, my father and my sister. 

First are my sister Jolene's definitions:

Culture:  It is everything that is involved in and surrounds each individual persons make-up.

Diversity:  People who are different and alike, short or tall, black or white, Mexican or Irish; however, you choose to look at it.

Second was my Father, Dave:

Culture:  He thinks of it as the way of living based on environment and beliefs at a certain point and time. And, there are thousands of them for a person and in general.

Diversity:  Is multiple choices; for life, different classes, people, or status.  "Different cultures are derived from diversity."

And then my mother Cheryl:

Culture:  Its what our every day life is.  Your beliefs and what make us go day by day; family, how we were raised, future out-looks, etc.

Diversity:  The capability of us as human beings being able to accept each other and the differences in each other.

The responses of my families were profound and quite insightful!!  I was greatly impressed and proud of each of their answers.  Their definitions align similarly with mine in that, they all basically spoke of how culture and diversity are individualized, then conceptualized within the family, environment and community which then returns full circle to impact the individual. 

My sister and I also discussed the increased, and great usage, of politically correct terms and terminology in our world.  We agreed that sometimes the utilization of these terms is separating us even further and causing more delineation between individuals.  For example; I am white.  I do not assimilate with, nor do I like, being called a European American yet, political correctness and terminology has ascertained that that is how I now must describe myself.  At what point are these terms to much?

My family's definitions of culture and diversity were very impressive to me.  In particular, it made me think of the different generations responses to the definitions and how I did not expect their answers.  I was most impressed by my parents deep definitions, especially coming from two individuals from the 'baby boom' era who have also lived their entire lives in small communities, with the same people and very little diversity in culture and people for years!  I guess I expected their answers to be as "generic" as mine was.  Yet, they were able to describe culture and diversity in ways that brought the terms full circle for all of us.

As always, I am amazingly proud and thankful for my family! 

Preserving My Family Culture.

Reading the requirements and scenario for this posting was unfortunately for me frightening.  However, in our trying times in the world we live in, I must admit I, as well as my family, have thought about such a scenario and how we would handle it.

The three items I would take with me to my new country would be small yet powerful.  Small is good, it is easier to carry and travel with in such an emergency situation.  I have two heirloom rings that are from my grandmothers on both sides of my family, each have been handed down to me because I am the oldest female on both sides of my family.  They are not priceless, they are not expensive....but, they are my family.  These rings are a representation of two powerful, strong and amazing women.  They are a reminder to keep up the strength in my family.

The third item I would bring would be the one and only family photo that I have of our small family that is current.  We are not a family that takes annual, professional photographs.  It is rare for us to have a group photo of the four of us together.  So, this photo is very valuable to me and I would bring it with me to my new country.

I would explain to others that these items represent a small unity amongst a small yet proud, strong determined people.  And, that that determination is who we are as a family and is who I am and represent in a new life.  They represent perseverance and strength that we will bring to our new homes.

If, due to the circumstances of the situation, I had to relinquish any of the items I would be saddened, I would be heart broken but, I would be understanding and I would NOT be devastated.  They are after all items but the real power of these items is held in my heart, in my soul and in the very make-up of who I am.  I do not need items to know, portray or be who I am.  Currently, two of these items are safely locked up and I never see them except on rare occasions.  I do not need to see them everyday to feel what they mean to me.  The lose of an item is not the lose of myself and I would remember that always!

My family is silently strong, loving, determined, full of powerful, amazing people!  We will persevere with or without items and even with or without each other.  We are Sawyers, we persevere and we are always in each others hearts.  We are survivors!